Monday, July 9, 2012

Gratitude and nostalgia

As I write my never ending list of thank you cards from my wedding I can't help feeling overwhelmed by the love and generosity shown to my new husband and me.
On a different and much less deep note, I have been listening to Westlife radio on pandora all morning. It takes me way back to my preteen self. That girl ran wild around Sligo with her crazy little band of friends (some of whom, thanks to good old Facebook, she still talks to. I miss her sometimes. Her life was chaotic and there were times when she was absolutely miserable. I wish I could write her a letter telling her not to worry so much about her body or clothes. I'd tell her that she's beautiful even though she's taller than her friends and has horrible skin. I'd tell her to forget about boys for now and to just have fun being a little girl.
I say all of these things, but I really doubt that little Brittany would listen. She's too stubborn. That hasn't changed.
I really think that twelve-year-old Brittany would be proud of twenty-three-year-old Brittany. I have everything that she so desperately craves. Except for a perfect body. But that doesn't bother me like it used to. Having a man that truly loves you does WONDERS for your self-esteem. Although to be perfectly honest I had accepted myself long before he came along. I reached a point where I decided that I was beautiful and that I was sick of that evil voice in my head that did nothing but drag me down. So I silenced it, and I continue to silence it every day. It's hard work, but oh so worth it!

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